April 9, 2003
Hi and Shabbat Shalom for April!
We are off to Amsterdam and London.....with stops in Belgium and Boston..(not in that order!)
Have a wonderful Matza-filled Pesach!
Love,
Eemah
Enjoy!
Thanks for the Hamentashen recipe-it was just a bit too late. I just finished making a huge batch with my son, Jordan!!! What a mess-he's 3 now and really wanted to be in charge!! I'm exhausted. Happy Purim to you...
Love,
Susy Shumacher Doole
Happy Passover -
Y'all Gonna Love This
Judaism 101
As a general principle, Jewish holidays are divided between days on which you must starve and days on which you must overeat. Many Jews observe no fewer than 16 fasts throughout the Jewish year, based on the time-honored principle that even if you are sure that you are ritually purified, you definitely aren't. Though there are many feasts and fasts, there are no holidays requiring light snacking.
Note: Unlike Christians, who simply attend church on special days (e.g. Ash Wednesday), on Jewish holidays most Jews take the whole day off. This is because Jews, for historical and personal reasons, are more stressed out.
The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays
Rosh Hashanah -- Feast
Tzom Gedalia -- Fast
Yom Kippur -- More fasting
Sukkot -- Feast
Hashanah Rabbah -- More feasting
Simchat Torah -- Keep feasting
Month of Heshvan -- No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on yourself.
Hanukkah -- Eat potato pancakes
Tenth of Tevet -- Do not eat potato pancakes
Tu B'Shevat -- Feast
Fast of Esther -- Fast
Purim -- Eat pastry
Passover -- Do not eat pastry
Shavuot -- Dairy feast (cheesecake, blintzes etc.)
17th of Tammuz -- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
Tish B'Av -- Very strict fast (don't even think about cheesecake or blintzes)
Month of Elul -- End of cycle. Enroll in Centre for Eating Disorders before High Holidays arrive again
There are many forms of Judaism:
Cardiac Judaism -- in my heart I am a Jew.
Gastronomic Judaism -- we eat Jewish foods.
Pocketbook Judaism -- I give to Jewish causes.
Drop-off Judaism -- drop the kids off at Sunday school and go out to breakfast .
Two-Times a Year Judaism -- attend service Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
You know you grew up Jewish when:
You've had at least one female relative who drew eyebrows on her face that were always asymmetrical.
You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef "brisket".
Your family dog responds to complaints uttered in Yiddish.
Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents.
You've experienced the phenomena of 50 people fitting into a 10 footwide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.
You thought pasta was the stuff used exclusively for kugel and kasha and bowties.
You watched Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan every Sunday night.
You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
You never knew anyone who's last name didn't end in one of 5 standard suffixes.
You were surprised to find out that wine doesn't always taste like year-old cranberry sauce.
You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.
You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.
You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't exactly know what they mean. Kenahurra.
You have at least one ancestor who is related to your spouse's ancestor.
You grew up thinking it's normal for someone to shout "Are you okay? Are you okay?" through the bathroom door if you're in there for longer than 3 minutes.
You have at least six male relatives named David.
Your grandparent's furniture smelled like mothballs and was as comfortable as
sitting on sandpaper.
You thought that speaking loud was normal.
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Now, a Bissel Humor
Gotlieb called his Rabbi and said, "I know tonight is Kol Nidre, but tonight the Yankees start the playoffs. Rabbi, I'm a lifelong Yankee fan. I've got to watch the Yankee game on TV."
The Rabbi responds, "Gotlieb, that's what VCRs are for."
Gotlieb is surprised. "You mean I can tape Kol Nidre"?
======================================================
Menachem needs his prayer-shawl (tallis) dry-cleaned. He sends it to the best dry cleaner in town, Ho Chi Wung Cleaners. They tell him to come back in a week. When he comes back, they give him the bill, which says $50.00.
"Fifty dollars?!", Menachem reads, astonished.
"No, no, no!" replies the dry-cleaner. "Five dollars to clean tallis, forty-five dollars to take out all knots!"
This is very inspiring
I think you'll like this:
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other
students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between
each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could
say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the
remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the
students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about
that individual.
On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire
class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I
meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much."
were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class
again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their
parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its
purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That
group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was
killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special
student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He
looked so handsome, so mature.
The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him
took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless
the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up
to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes."
Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a
luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to
speak with his teacher.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out
>> of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought
you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two
worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and
refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers
were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's
classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that,"
Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie
smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the
top drawer of my desk at home."
Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."
"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out
her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry
this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash,
she continued: "I think we all saved our lists." That's when the teacher
finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends
who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life
will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So
please, tell the people you love and care for, that they ar special and
important. Tell them, before it is too late.
